The Kingdom of Talossa


Ma la Mha, el PrŘm Baron TepistÓ

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Arms of Lord Ma la Mha, Baron TepistÓ

Vert a pair of hands throughout in chevron sustaining a carpenter's square chevronwise and on a chief dancetty of two points downward argent a cross flory fitchy and a goblet gules.

Crest: Issuant from a baronial coronet proper a demi-lobster gules maintaining in the sinister claw a dagger argent.


Welcome to the home page of Ma Ups Patritz la Mha. By the grace of our Sovereign, I was created el PrŘm Baron TepistÓ (First Baron Hooligan) on 20 November 2005. I am the lord of the Barony of Hooligan, located in the extreme northeast corner of my province of Florencia. The historic landmark "Hooligans," located in the Barony, is notable in the annals of our nation; it was there that Prime Minister J. Harrison Wozniak was sworn into office.

I served from 17 April 2007 until 23 October 2008 as the Seneschal (Prime Minister), and I continue as a driving force in the political party I founded, the RUMP.

Before being elected Prime Minister by my party, I served as Distain (Deputy Prime Minister) in the administrations of Sir Fritz von Buchholtz and Sir Samhuel Tecladeir, and as the Grefieir d'Abbavilla. I also sat in the Senate (both for CÚzembre and Vuode).

I occupy RUMP cheeks (parliamentary seats) in the Cosa, where I can act all pompous and legislatively full of myself like everyone else there. ...Not that I have any trouble being full of myself. Anyone who knows me will attest to that. Other things I enjoy being full of include laughter and beer. Anyone who knows me will attest to that too.

Since choosing not to accept a third term as Prime Minister, I have concentrated on the national language, and published A Complete Guide to the Talossan Language (▄n Guizua Complńts Ól Glhe■ Talossan), which is now available through a number of book vendors, including at (Sadly, I also find it necessary to maintain a Ś thankfully, so far very small Ś online errata for the book.) As another outlet for my love of the Talossan language, I also contribute to the list of what are subjectively declared to be The Coolest Talossan Words.

Additionally, I serve His Majesty's government as Immigration Minister, doing everything I can to assist all those who seek to become Talossan.

I also was foolish enough to build this Website for the Kingdom, and now everyone expects me to keep it updated, so I do. But I could sure use help, so I am actively recruiting members of el Gremiour Talossan dels Zesegneirs Telaragneschti (The Talossan Web Designers Guild). If you can assist your fellow Talossans in the creation and maintenance of their Webpage here (using the site administration tool I whipped up for us), the Guild would definitely welcome you. Please don't hesitate to get in touch with me.

I also somehow got roped into becoming a Royal Fellow of the Kingdom's College of Arms, now serving its Dean and as Columcille Pursuivant, assisting subjects of His Majesty in their petitions for acheivements of arms. I was very flattered that one of the first projects of the College was to create a personal arms for me, shown above at right. In case you are interested in the meaning of the various parts of my achievement of arms, here you are. My name, Manus Hand, is both the Latin (my given name) and the English (my surname) for that five-fingered thing on the end of your wrist. My Talossan name Ma la Mha is the modern Talossan (Ma) and archaic (and current post-vocalic lenited) Talossan (Mha) for that same thing. Thus the two hands, symbolizing my first and last names. Between the hands is a carpenter's square, the symbol for St. Joseph (in Talossan, Sant Ups); Joseph is my middle name, as I was born on St. Joseph's Day. The green background symbolizes my Irish heritage, and alludes to St. Patrick (Patritz), the name I took on confirmation in the Roman Catholic faith. The cross and the chalice are also symbolic of that faith, but in addition, the choice of a "cross flory fitchy gules" (meaning a red cross with flared top and sides, and a pointy bottom) is significant because it is a variation of the Latin cross known as St. James' Cross (crutz da Sant Txec). This cross, positioned above the left hand (which stands for my given name) on the arms, symbolises my father James and his decision to name me using the Latin word for our surname. The chalice has a second meaning as well, symbolizing the conviviality of friends, which is also referenced by the motto I chose, which means "First Round's On Me." The zigzag line that separates the upper and lower part of the arms symbolises my home in the Rocky Mountains, and the "W" shape my beloved home state of Wyoming. Finally, the red and green symbolize our Talossan nation.

See you on Wittenberg.

(( Hool ))

Last modified: 09/10/12 04:53 PM